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Real Confessions of True Housewives

by on February 28, 2014

These are the true confessions of an actual housewife. Nothing has been changed to protect the innocent because this whole blog is about showing that life isn’t perfect.

1. I cleaned my microwave, like really scrubbed the snot out of the inside, last week and it kinda freaks me out when I open it because it looks so different now.

2. I have twins. One is a lot more emotional and intense than the other. When the quiet one starts to throw a fit I’ve thought on more than one occasion “please not you, you’re the good one.”

3. I hate when my children are in trouble and grounded from things like the TV or computers because sometimes I just need a short break where they’re focused on something other than making a mess or jumping on me.

4. Things that my husband hates (well, at least doesn’t like) for the girls to play with are the things I try to cram into the time he’s at work. This involves markers, stickers, glitter, and feasting on the unborn. (well, ok, not that last one)

5. We tend not to censor our language much at home and it drives our families crazy. We subscribe to the Dumbledore attitude on language: fear of the name only increases fear of the thing itself. We have at home words and not at home words and the girls are learning what words they can use at home but not in public. We know that this is contrary to pretty much everyone in America, but our theory is that words are arbitrary and just a string of letters. Just because they’re put together in a specific order doesn’t make them ‘bad’. Socially unacceptable, ok, but not bad. Language has no morality- no sense of right and wrong. It’s a freaking word.

6. I HATE folding laundry. I wash it and dry it, but I hate folding it any putting it away. This means that it often piles up in the living room until we get so sick of it that one of us folds and puts it all away.

7. The children are not allowed to watch scary movies or things that will give them nightmares, but they love playing video games with us. This includes zombie killing games, games with lots of explosions, and games with things like skeletons and ghosts. Secretly I feel like this is good preparation for the actual zombie apocalypse.

8. I want the children to dress nice, in outfits that coordinate, and have a well groomed appearance when we’re out and about. At home, most days we don’t get out of our jammies if we don’t need to. We play, paint, craft, read, and laze about in them all day.

9. We let the children ride their scooters in the house. Not their bikes since they can get some wicked speed on those, but the scooters they got for Christmas. We have hardwood floors and a good sized hallway and they zip around like tiny little balls of energy.

10. We live in a highly republican area with a large community of very religious people, neither of which are things that the husband and I prescribe to in life. We don’t force our beliefs on the children (such as: you will NOT believe, or: Republicans just want everyone to be as miserable as they are) but rather we want them to question everything and make their mind up for themselves. This is also something that drives a lot of our friends and family crazy. We have open discussions with them on whatever they want to talk about. They know the basics of the human body already, down to the fact that they came from eggs and something from Daddy to make them into babies and that boys have ‘sticky out parts’. We answer everything honestly and as age appropriately as possible. We want them to be well rounded people and not just pigeonhole themselves into one group and blindly follow it without any thoughts on what they actually believe. We DO however teach tolerance and acceptance.  We talk about how some families have two mommies or two daddies and that’s  just fine, that love is the only thing that really matters.

I hope you’ve enjoyed this episode of Real Confessions of True Housewives. Life is messy, go out and enjoy it.



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