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Happy New Yea… oh crap, things haven’t changed a bit in the last 7 days.

by on January 8, 2014

So we’re now officially 1 week into 2014. I have failed again at blogging more. The world didn’t end and I didn’t become an instant millionaire in the year shift. Life just continues to go on. 

The one thing that HAS changed is that my claim for unemployment has been decided on. I filed for unemployment benefits on November 15th, 2013. That was the last day I officially had a job and the first day I was unemployed. After numerous phone calls, many of which involved more than two hours of wait time  just trying to talk to someone, I got a letter in the mail today that says I’m not covered by unemployment benefits. Turns out that you have to work at a company that has more than 4 people in order to be worthy of getting assistance when you no longer have that job. I will be looking into what I need to do to appeal this, but at this point things are not looking good.

The year ended up less than stellar. The sheer fact that I have a tendency to shop clearance and sales all year round was the ONLY way we were able to have Christmas. I even went out the day before Christmas Eve with money we’d received AS a Christmas present in order to do some last minute shopping for our children and immediate family that I hadn’t even made cookies for as a gift. 

I had met with a friend and her family the days before and mentioned that I didn’t even have money to buy Christmas dinner. I wasn’t looking for charity or help, I just knew I could trust telling her and her mom that things were rough and I’d be met without judgement. This family has been such a blessing, and I say that as a [mostly] non-religious person. I was religious at one point, and they has a large part of getting me involved and supporting that part of my life. As time has gone on it no longer fits with my beliefs. I’m not denying that there is a higher power, I just don’t agree with many of the commonly accepted groups and beliefs that are on the front lines of that particular trend. (But really, that’s a story for another day.)

Anyway, this family is the most Christian family I’ve ever met. Yes, that includes mine. I don’t remember EVER hearing them judge someone else or put someone down because of their beliefs. They are everything that a true Christian should be and I love them even more for it. They just love. They support. They listen. They care. And that day was no exception. My friend called and asked if they could stop by and immediately I knew. I felt bad for a fraction of a second. I hadn’t intended to try and benefit from the conversations we’d had, I just enjoyed being able to talk openly with people I trust. I also knew that they wouldn’t have done what they did without being who they are, honest to goodness amazing people. They brought by a ham dinner for my family to share on Christmas day. 

I sobbed. I sobbed hard. When I stopped sobbing, I thought about what they’d done and I sobbed some more. Seriously, the kindest people you’d ever have the privileged to know. 

So our Christmas came to pass. We enjoyed the time with our families. We enjoyed watching the children open their presents and knowing that yet again we feel like we didn’t do enough, but where we fell short friends and family picked it up. The girls had a wonderful time and that’s all that really matters. 

We enjoyed our ham dinner and ate ham for days afterward. I even made baked beans with the remaining pieces, a first success on dried beans being actually edible for me. 

We survived new years. My husband was sick and we’re not big party people so I think we were all in bed way before midnight that night, although I could be wrong. I did take the girls to go see FROZEN and that was fun.

We waited and waited to hear on the unemployment. I hadn’t quit my job and I wasn’t fired so we didn’t anticipate any major issues. I had informed my employer that we would be looking at moving in the next year in order to find a bigger metropolitan area for more educational opportunities for the ladies. It was meant as a courtesy but it ended in the termination of my employment. I don’t know that there were any hard feelings. I certainly don’t harbor any ill will toward them. I loved that job, but it just wasn’t enough. I worked my butt off to try and make sure my replacement would be the best informed that she could be and I tried to tie up any loose ends before I left. I got no severance or end of year bonus, even though I feel like I worked my butt off to close a large financial gap. Again, I shouldn’t EXPECT anything like that so no big deal, but finding out that I don’t qualify for unemployment because the place I worked didn’t have enough employees comes as a kick in the gut. 

I have been without a paycheck for two months now. We survived Christmas and we’re rapidly approaching the ladies 4th birthday which I’ve been planning for more than a year now. We were looking forward to inviting all their school friend, even though they aren’t in school anymore, but now everything seems to be tits up. 

I had a minor panic attack this afternoon when I got the news. I was chatting with my husband on the computer at the time and told him what was going on. I had told him I couldn’t breathe. Unfortunately this also took place as I’d called my father to tell him what was going on, hoping for some insight or additional view on where to go from here. Also, the children were supposed to be napping. My dad was coming into town at the moment and swung by my place. We started chatting and it happens to be the moment when our cell phones were shut off so my husband started worry that I had passed out as he couldn’t get me on the phone or on the computer. 

Eventually he called my dad, who was here, and I was able to explain that I was fine and not ignoring him. 

And such begins the saga of 2014. I’m really trying to stay positive but I’m finding it increasingly difficult. (Can’t you tell by my upbeat and cheery post?) I have sat down tonight and created a list of things I need to do from applying for food stamps to figuring out how to sell gourmet pot cookies (I DO live in Colorado after all). I keep trying to remind myself that the best people rise out of the ashes. Greatness comes from adversity. Nothing will change if you don’t change it. Cliched phrases help, but I have GOT to figure out how to get us back to square one. Until then, I will continue to get up and care for my children and try to better myself everyday. Just another day in a Pin Perfect Life…

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